5 Quick Tips for Marital Self-Care
When was the last time you spent quality time alone with your partner?
It’s not easy, I know. Maybe you’re struggling just to find a few minutes to catch up in passing, much less get out of the house together. Maybe finances are tight and you aren’t able to do much that feels worthwhile. Maybe it all feels a little forced and empty under the weight of your current circumstances.
Struggles like this are common and understandable when you have so much weighing on your shoulders. Holidays like Valentine’s Day, anniversaries and date nights are great opportunities to slow down and find joy and celebration, in the midst of your daily responsibilities, but they don’t always work out the way we wish they would. Sometimes, our relationships can benefit from setting those high expectations aside and embracing opportunities to apply quick tips for marital self-care that will nurture your relationship in the midst of caregiving.
READ MORE: 10 Paracords of Self-Care
Under The Parachute Project™, there are 5 strands in the Marital Paracord. They are:
Friendship ~ Partnership ~ Emotional Intimacy ~ Physical Intimacy ~ Marital Support
When you give just a little bit of attention to one of these areas of marital self-care, you will strengthen the relationship you have with your partner and increase the likelihood that you will work well together .
Below, are 5 quick tips for MARITAL self-care that will nurture the relationship you share with the most important person in your life, your partner.
Quick Marital Self-Care Tip #1 – Create a Private Space at Home:
Having young children can make it difficult to find time alone with your partner. This is especially true if they require a level of care that may be difficult to meet in your absence. Frequent date nights, or a weekend away, can feel out of reach.
A more realistic solution might be to create a space, inside your home, that is designated as a refuge for you and for your partner to spend time together when you can’t get away. The most obvious space is your bedroom. Clear the clutter and decorate in a way that helps you to relax. Reserve this as an adult space free of toys and kid related items. If your kids are old enough, put a lock on the door. Teach them about privacy and how to be considerate and respectful by knocking before they enter.
READ MORE: Create a Bedroom Sanctuary
Don’t worry about taking time away from your child(ren) or feel like you need to make time with your partner fit around your child’s schedule. Teach your kids that it is important for mom and dad to spend time alone together, even if just in another room. They will find comfort and security in knowing that their parents enjoy each other’s company.
Quick Marital Self-Care Tip #2 – Stay Involved in Your Child’s Care:
As parents and caregivers of children with complex care needs, the weight of your responsibilities can feel back breaking very quickly. For this reason, it is so important that both partners share the load to establish the security of a reliable partnership.
As much as possible, both of you should stay involved in your child’s care. Attend appointments, develop relationships with the members of your care team, and stay up to date on your child’s medical history so that, if necessary, you are both capable of meeting your child’s care needs. This is critical to keep the burden from falling to heavily on one partner’s shoulders.
Quick Marital Self-Care Tip #3 – Make Decisions Together:
When you are each actively involved in your child’s care, you will both have the information you need to make informed decisions for your family. This prevents one partner from feeling as though they are responsible for making important decisions all on their own and the other from feeling as if they don’t have a say.
It is critical that you be able to communicate and talk out the challenges facing your family so that you can come to an understanding and make a plan of action that works best for you both. It is important to listen to what your partner has to say and to share your own perspective respectfully.
Understand that, under difficult circumstances, your partner may be dealing with significant anxiety and stress. You can be their safe haven and their soft place to land by assuring them you are both in this together.
Quick Marital Self-Care Tip #4 – Dream Together:
While your circumstances may feel overwhelming right now, they are bound to change as time passes. It is important to remember that there is still a future to plan for. While the dreams you once had might have to change, they don’t have to disappear all-together.
Continue to share your dreams with your partner and invite them to share their dreams with you. These conversations will help you to re-affirm the goals that are still important to you both and allow you to think about the future with hope and optimism.
Don’t worry about whether your dreams are entirely realistic or attainable in your current circumstances. The power of sharing common goals and dreams with your partner, is that you are far more likely to overcome obstacles and see these dreams come true if you are working towards them together.
Quick Marital Self-Care Tip #5 – Nurture Your Relationship:
Even under the best of circumstances, it is difficult for two individuals, with different experiences and perspectives, to always understand where the other is coming from. Add in the challenges of parenting, and the demands of a child’s complex care needs, and it is common for relationships to feel the pressure.
As much as you love your partner, and are committed to making your relationship better, you might not always have the tools you need to do so. If your best efforts are not creating the relationship you are hoping for, it is time to reach out for support.
There are many different resources out there including marriage books, blogs or podcasts. You may want to consider participating in an online marriage program or attending a retreat. Sometimes, an impartial third party, such as a counselor, can bring valuable perspective and guide conversation in a productive direction.
Your relationship is worth the extra care and effort!
During times when everything feels uncertain or scary, your marital relationship can be a source of great comfort and security. It is important not to take that blessing for granted.
Marital self-care can be one of the hardest areas to manage because it is as much about your partner as it is about you. Let your partner know that, no matter what the circumstance, you are thinking about them and want to make your relationship a priority. Then, together, decide how to make that happen.
For more ideas visit my “Marital Self-Care” board on Pinterest.
As always, do not try to apply all of these quick tips for marital self-care at one time. It is always better to focus your attention on just one action until it becomes a natural part of your self-care practice before adding another. Approaching self-care this way, increases the likelihood that you will stay consistent, be successful and enjoy the benefits of your efforts long-term.
Self-Care Action Discussed in This Post:
Consider the 5 quick tips for marital self-care discussed above. Write down the one that most resonates with you. How can you incorporate this self-care action into your self-care practice?
- 10 Paracords of Self-Care
- Your Parachute
- 5 Quick Tips for Physical Self-Care
- 5 Quick Tips for Mental Self-Care
- 5 Quick Tips for Emotional Self-Care
- 5 Quick Tips for Spiritual Self-Care
- 5 Quick Tips for Social Self-Care
- 5 Quick Tips for Parental Self-Care
- 5 Quick Tips for Financial Self-Care
- 5 Quick Tips for Professional Self-Care
- 5 Quick Tips for Reputational Self-Care
- 5 Quick Tips for Holiday Self-Care
- Create a Bedroom Sanctuary
- Nurture Your Marriage Through the Holidays
- The Attributes of Love
- The Couples Getaway Challenge